Breaking up with a friend is on another scale compared to relationships. It’s never really one of those things that you can run away from, and often follows you for years until you’re old enough to actually go your separate ways -in terms of location.
Like relationships, a friendship can be hard work. Whether you’re arguing over the issue of you both wanting to wear the same top on a night out, or some huge drama that you know won’t matter in a few hours, 9 times out of 10 things always go back to normal.
That is of course unless these things build up, for your self preservation there is only so much you can take. Having been there myself, and after trying so hard to prove myself as worthy friend that I would have quite happily lost a limb in the process, enough was enough. I had reached breaking point, as so many of us do.
At first you think being stubborn is the right thing to do; you won’t talk to them, acknowledge them, and basically try and evacuate them from your life. But there is always something that draws you back in at least once, whether it’s seeing an old photo of you both, or another friend bringing up a really good memory of which you were all involved in. And the realisation of how much things have changed will hit you like a train.
The thing is it never hurts to try again, until you wind up in exactly the same situation as you were in before! This is when you know for sure that you made the right decision and that nothing that person can say or do will ever change your mind again. Until you get sucked in for the second time!!
This is where the self preservation thing that I mentioned earlier comes in to play, because this is where you need to tighten your back bone, bite your tongue and walk away! For good! There is no use whatsoever, in having somebody in your life whose sole purpose seems to be to provide negativity and bring toxic vibes into it. You have to be stronger than that and make the choice to be happy instead of looking at a few photographs and getting upset.
Don’t get me wrong, this whole process may be killing you inside as you go through it, it did me, but once the storm has settled you will feel one million times better. They can get on with their life and you can get on with yours. It usually helps if you clear them off of all forms of social media too, and remove them from your phone, as you may still have some bitterness about the situation and you don’t want any reminders!
It may seem painstakingly hard at the start, with parents and friends still asking you questions about whether you’ve heard from them, or people constantly bringing them up in your company, but in time (a lot of time) things will become much easier. Your heart won’t sink when you hear their name, and you will feel comfortable in knowing that your life is a lot easier now. Doing things you love will also help you through it, and act as a great distraction.
Thinking back to the last year when things were so different, will only hurt you more. In the end as we grow the people around us will either grow with us, or go in different directions. It is how we naturally filter out who we are meant to be around, and who we should leave behind! -Woah, what a cheesy bit of wisdom.
But remember, time is a great healer and it may be that after you have both had some time apart you can sort your differences out and go back to being friends like you once were! In other cases, you will just continue to feel more and more content with your life; which is where I for one am at!!